While putting in my mandatory hours of viewing current events on TV, I came upon a government health discussion with audience participation. Those fine products of government training camps were proclaiming how evil profit is especially evil in health care.
How many people do you know working for room and board? I would argue everything we own that is above and beyond our needs for basic survival represent personal profit. We call our selves a consumer nation. I'd consider that a hint most of are doing more than volunteer service all day.
But back to the idea our of doctor not making a profit. He should see me for the pure joy that comes from hanging out with sick people? He's not allowed to want a house in the suburbs?
If you sat down at a table and told the waitress, "I don't believe in tipping. Your should think of it as a privilege to be serving me." What kind of service do you think you're going to get?
Profit is a form of motivation. There must be a reason to do something when doing nothing is easier. Companies are not created by government programs or magic fairies. They are the result of a lot people wanting to make some money. Yes many of these people are driven by vision, need or belief but they still expect and deserve a reward for their time, effort and capital.
Profits make great things happen. Socialism produces only human misery. Socialism takes cotton candy dreams and turns them into broccoli lies. "From each according to ability and to each according to need." It sounds great. It is the snake oil that will cure all of society's ills. It is a recipe for turd soup that creates only famine, bone gnawing dreariness and violence on a worldwide scale. It creates a world where people are motivated to be needy not able.
Without profit, mankind would not have gotten beyond living in a cave provided by nature, eating berries we hoped would not kill us and trying to out run big kitty cats with really long teeth.
Snapping back to the present where it isn't a big, hairy elephant trying to step on us but a leviathan of questionable charity and callous intentions. We have a 2,000 page government health bill that only directly addresses the uninsured when it claims to help by ordering the IRS to track them down and fine them for not having insurance.
In the Middle East Department: Iran invades Iraq
Keep an eye on this story, someone is trying to run a con.
Iraq demands Iran withdraw troops from oilfield
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE5BH1Y920091218
Iraq-Iran in oilfield dispute
http://english.aljazeera.net/news/middleeast/2009/12/2009121816934643863.html
Colonel Peter Newell, a US military spokesman in Iraq, said that such incidents were not uncommon in the area.
"What happens is, periodically, about every three or four months, the oil ministry guys from Iraq will go ... to fix something or do some maintenance. They'll paint it in Iraqi colours and throw an Iraqi flag up.
"They'll hang out there for a while, until they get tired, and as soon as they go away, the Iranians come down the hill and paint it Iranian colours and raise an Iranian flag.
"It happened about three months ago and it will probably happen again."
Note that the Colonel's comments from been dropped from the newer stories and oil price news added. My guess is oil futures speculators are trying to move the market.
I suspect the Colonel is not an official "spokesman." He's probably retire a Colonel because he understands enlisted men more than he does Pentagon politics. He has probably enjoyed a lot of success on the battlefield because he never lost his common sense.
I knew a captain like him a long time ago. That captain probably grew up to be that kind of Colonel. My sergeant and lieutenant would rather have root canal surgery than talk to me. I had a knack for turning any conservation into a surreal experience. The kind of thing that left them talking to themselves and drinking heavily for the rest of the day.
One day I pulled a prank that brought down the attention of my captain's superiors. He called me into his office, I explained how my car had stalled on this old, lonely road. When night falls, it's as if the trees creep closer. I hear howls in the woods. I can't get the car to start. The howling gets louder. The starter cranks uselessly. I hear scratching at the windows. I think I even hear inhuman moans of suffering from the pack of oddly deformed wolves." The rest of my colorful descriptions stutters to a stop in the icy, emotionless response of my audience of one. My captain choose to fill the void.
"Byrum, if I were to creatively interpret the regulations, you would be in a federal prison until your hair turns gray. I have a sergeant who is counting his days to retirement. My lieutenant is an idiot who amazes me by finding his desk each morning. The gods of war may have saddled me with them. But I will not be saddled with you. I have a fine dinner planned tonight. A dinner planned with even finer companionship. I do not want my good mood and pleasant thoughts disturbed. You will leave my office and think of all the ways I can make your life a hell if you shit on me again."
Needless to say, me and my captain never chatted again. My lieutenant used his rank to avoid me. My sergeant must have burned a few favors to get me transferred to the other side of the Earth. But that is another story and the fire has burned low to glowing ashes. Sunrise is lighting the morning. This old man's stories must await another night of the electricity failing.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Libertarians: The Invisible Party
On TV last night, a liberal pundit referred to the Tea Party movement and Sarah Palin as populous. This isn't whistling past the graveyard. This is an entire marching band. Most can be excused for calling the Tea Party movement conservative because other than a handful of exceptions, the media is color blind to the libertarian band of the political spectrum.
The Tea Party movement consists of both Democrats and Republicans. The have put aside their differences because only a fool fights in a house on fire. They have formed an allegiance on their shared belief of a government out of control. They don't want government doing any more right now. This common ground happens to be dead center in the Libertarian party.
The Tea Party movement isn't forming a third party. They are endorsing candidate or publicizing what candidates really stand for. In this election, that letter behind the name isn't going to mean what it used to. We are suffering a government with Democrats in control after suffering a government with Republicans in control. They both can only deliver a government of gluttony. If the seven deadly sins are the key to getting into hell, Congress might as well hold sessions in August because it is going to be a lot hotter where they are going to end up.
Yet again, the Libertarians have a chance to play in the political arena. May I suggest the Libertarians focus on what they have in common with the general public at the moment. Today, we the people, want the government to stop passing any new laws while we catch our breath, figure out where we are and where we are going. Once we've stopped the current madness in Washington then we can argue about undoing the unconstitutional damage the federal government has done. The public is not offering a mandate to back out all the socialism since FDR. They just want Obamaism stopped then they can think about out Constitution that has been too long ignored. As distasteful as it it, only our democracy can agree to return us to a constitutional republic. We are sitting on the razor's edge. We can continue into tyranny and take the very long, hard road back around to freedom or we can reverse our course and begin the long, hard work of restoring our freedom.
In 2010, the candidates can do little more than offer the people two years to decide the future of this Nation. Can we live with the Spartan government of our Founding Fathers or are we helpless without the leviathan we have created? Government is just like drugs. If you stop, you will suffer the living hell of withdrawal. Every pore of you body will sweat pain, every muscle will cramp in agony and every nerve will burn for attention. Yet, if you take enough to get high again, it might just be enough to kill you.
I hear the wise men on TV tell me how we are saddling out grandchildren with debt. I laugh my crazy laugh and explain quietly to the TV, "You poor fool. We are destroying the here and now. Our grandchildren are going to curse us for not teaching them how to make tools from rocks or how to raise crops. When the world stops believing in the magic of money, we will live in a world of guns, gold, goods and gangs. Our grandchildren will want for nothing more than to survive another day."
And a final thank you to liberals. Thank you for teaching your children to hate and fear guns. Thanks for teaching your them our differences can be solved by understanding and discussion. My grandchildren are going to kill and eat your children. And a special thanks to all you vegetarians for putting yourselves at the bottom of the food chain. My grandchildren will have fewer competitors and more sources of protein.
P.S. I watched the Jesse Show. Corny, melodramatic and way too accurate. I need to go off and think about the show because I didn't see anything I know to be false. And to make matters worse, there were a couple of background details I never heard in any conspiracy theory but match with my fictional history of the world's intelligence community.
The meat of the Global Warming hoax is true. The who and why that make it a conspiracy are something I'm not ready to comment on yet.
When Jesse confronts someone that inner Seal comes front and forward.
It's a shame the previous shows about HARRP and 9/11 were so lame.
The Tea Party movement consists of both Democrats and Republicans. The have put aside their differences because only a fool fights in a house on fire. They have formed an allegiance on their shared belief of a government out of control. They don't want government doing any more right now. This common ground happens to be dead center in the Libertarian party.
The Tea Party movement isn't forming a third party. They are endorsing candidate or publicizing what candidates really stand for. In this election, that letter behind the name isn't going to mean what it used to. We are suffering a government with Democrats in control after suffering a government with Republicans in control. They both can only deliver a government of gluttony. If the seven deadly sins are the key to getting into hell, Congress might as well hold sessions in August because it is going to be a lot hotter where they are going to end up.
Yet again, the Libertarians have a chance to play in the political arena. May I suggest the Libertarians focus on what they have in common with the general public at the moment. Today, we the people, want the government to stop passing any new laws while we catch our breath, figure out where we are and where we are going. Once we've stopped the current madness in Washington then we can argue about undoing the unconstitutional damage the federal government has done. The public is not offering a mandate to back out all the socialism since FDR. They just want Obamaism stopped then they can think about out Constitution that has been too long ignored. As distasteful as it it, only our democracy can agree to return us to a constitutional republic. We are sitting on the razor's edge. We can continue into tyranny and take the very long, hard road back around to freedom or we can reverse our course and begin the long, hard work of restoring our freedom.
In 2010, the candidates can do little more than offer the people two years to decide the future of this Nation. Can we live with the Spartan government of our Founding Fathers or are we helpless without the leviathan we have created? Government is just like drugs. If you stop, you will suffer the living hell of withdrawal. Every pore of you body will sweat pain, every muscle will cramp in agony and every nerve will burn for attention. Yet, if you take enough to get high again, it might just be enough to kill you.
I hear the wise men on TV tell me how we are saddling out grandchildren with debt. I laugh my crazy laugh and explain quietly to the TV, "You poor fool. We are destroying the here and now. Our grandchildren are going to curse us for not teaching them how to make tools from rocks or how to raise crops. When the world stops believing in the magic of money, we will live in a world of guns, gold, goods and gangs. Our grandchildren will want for nothing more than to survive another day."
And a final thank you to liberals. Thank you for teaching your children to hate and fear guns. Thanks for teaching your them our differences can be solved by understanding and discussion. My grandchildren are going to kill and eat your children. And a special thanks to all you vegetarians for putting yourselves at the bottom of the food chain. My grandchildren will have fewer competitors and more sources of protein.
P.S. I watched the Jesse Show. Corny, melodramatic and way too accurate. I need to go off and think about the show because I didn't see anything I know to be false. And to make matters worse, there were a couple of background details I never heard in any conspiracy theory but match with my fictional history of the world's intelligence community.
The meat of the Global Warming hoax is true. The who and why that make it a conspiracy are something I'm not ready to comment on yet.
When Jesse confronts someone that inner Seal comes front and forward.
It's a shame the previous shows about HARRP and 9/11 were so lame.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Chip Shots
Barack Obama and Tiger Woods spend last week picking up that to which they were not morally entitled, a Peace Prize and some prized pieces.
Tiger's wife had to tell him to quit golfing to save their marriage. The whole point of the game is putting it in a lot of different holes.
After making a hole-in-one, the Japanese golfer turned to Tiger and asked, "Why are you shouting 'wrong hole, wrong hole' in Japanese?"
How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? Ask Al Gore and the Global Warmers. They top hits, "Let's do the Carbon Footprint" and "It's my Warming and I'll snow if I want to" seem to hold the answer when the records are played backward.
If I sneaked into you house in the middle of the night and increased the CO2 level by 6 ppm (parts per million, would a) you die in you sleep, b) the Department of Health and Hoax quarantine your house and burn it and the occupancies to the ground or c) Al Gore sent you a bill for $10 trillion of carbon credits?
Does that 7 billion tons of carbon put into the atmosphere scare you? Of course, big numbers scare everyone who doesn't take time to think. Our atmosphere is about 4.4 million billion tons. Now that is a scarier number than a Obama Stimulus Package. We should be more worried about the atmosphere crushing us than the much less than 1% of CO2 in that atmosphere.
Global Warming is a game of liars poker for a $10 trillion pot. I think that kind of money is enough motivation to explain deleting, hiding and rigging the climate data. The government health care bill is only $1.5 trillion and that is enough to get every Democrat and liberal in the country lying. In these cases, "better safe than sorry" and displaced compassion mean thousands of dollars out of you household budget. If you are living paycheck to paycheck, pick out a good spot on skid row now. Or buy my new book "10 Steps to Successful Armed Robbery." A free Saturday Night Special included with the first 100 orders.
Golf is the most boring sport invented by man (see Mayan hoop loop using still warm human heads for ball for most exciting.) Golf was immediately invented by man after the invention of marriage by women to have one lousy day a week without nagging. Five days a week, our job nags us. Sundays, God nags us. Seven nights a week, our wives nag us. For one glorious Saturday, we have a nag free zone at the golf course.
Saturday, you hop in the car, no kids to drop off at the government training camp, no stinking rush hour traffic, just quiet, our secret mistress, peace and quiet. Arriving at the golf club, you hunt for a parking space. No reserved parking here. All men are equal on this holy ground. Having anchored the family transport, you lugged the bag of clubs to the nearest cabby. With the grace of a famous couple who did old musicals, the cabby sweeps the golf bag from the ground and into the golf cart.
That joyous "being chaffered" feeling turns into a high blood pressure claymore mine when spot the four cackling hens roosting on the first tee. The caddy hands you a thermos of martini, steps from the cart and boldly approaches the women. "The rumor around the club house is that Morgan's daughter is going to start showing soon. The little shop down the road is having a clearance sale on knock-off wedding gifts that look like they came from Macy's. It even has 'I told you so' gift tags." As the women wiggle into their golf cart and race to the exit, you know why your caddy gets the big tips.
Now you can place, the tee in the ground and put that white, dimpled, tormenting bastard in place. With the flare and mystery of a shaman purging a straw hut village of evil sprites, the caddy reaches into your bag, puts a thin, metallic stick with a large head into your hand and points to a flag in the distance. This is moment. You address the ball as all those books you read on company called standing in next to the ball. You raise the club up and over your head in a "Kama Sutra" position without a partner. The ball arcs down. The ball arcs up. The sound of shattering windshield glass is drown out by the curious electronic noises of a car alarm.
"The bartender at the clubhouse is a friend of mine. She'll swear we've been there all morning," explains the always well tipped caddy. As the caddy navigates to the clubhouse on a course to assure no witnesses, you lean back, close your eyes and bathe in that one day a week without nagging.
Think about it. Golf and Scotch whiskey were invented by the same people.
P.S. As to that part of my life that pays almost enough for me to afford rent in the poor house. I an engaged in a corporate experiment to generate attrition. I've done a lot of varied work in my time and can tell when a team of random people have been put together to fail. We are told by the higher ups how important this project is. Yet, my sources tell me our customers do not want and even fear the product of our labors being forced on them.
Up until last week, I was curious why the company would assemble a bunch of people to fail. I just figured it was high level corporate politics out of the range of my sources. Then I heard the vacation plans or should I say the unplanning of vacations. People's vacation are being canceled. They are expected to eat the cost of airline tickets or other plans they have made. And the company vacation policy is take it or lose it. It can not be carried over to the next year. How many happy campers do you think this project is creating?
As for me? I got no money and no place to go. I told management, I would write code, fix bugs, generally help and do all the computer geek stuff I really don't mind doing and call it my vacation under one condition. "I will not attend any goddamn meetings!" My manager agreed, "Around here, not attending meeting is a vacation all by itself."
Computer geek joke: A code review is having other people explain to you the code you wrote.
In my continuing effort to explain my inane job to a normal person, I make lug nuts. I have a "go/no go" plastic dildo. If the lug nut meets the specifications, one will screw in, the other end will not. Then quality control calls up and says most of the lug nuts are blue but some are red. While I have no idea what is means, it will of course require a meeting of everyone.
At the meeting, our leader will explain, "American has many bridges. A lot of cars cross all those bridges. Those cars have wheels and those wheels have lug nuts. Motorcycles cross those same bridges. I don't own a motorcycle. So I don't know if they require lugs nuts. But you can see there are a lot bridges and even more cars." I get the same speech if I point out the toilet in the men's room is overflowing..
Actually, the reality is worse than the analogy.
P.P.S. Tiger Woods should be running for political office. Putting the sexual scandals ahead of the election to office would be novel change.
Tiger Woods is in trouble for going to bed with a bunch of blondes. The solution is to move to Sweden. Does anyone else see a minor flaw in this plan?
I read a blog that questioned how Tiger's wife had a golf club so handy. If she lived with a carpenter would he wonder why a hammer was handy? Plumber, wrench? Butcher, knife? Preacher, bible with flask of Bourbon?
P.P.P.S. Sunday Harry Ried and the Socialists will move the government health care bill to the next to the last of the decision points to end life as you knew it. This is where the Egyptians put your heart on one side of a balance scale and a feather on the other. We will lose
My
Tombstone
Will Read
No Where Man
"I told you so!"
? - ?
We have become a nation for fools who believe we can win at Three Card Monty because a shill in the crowd has bend the corner of the queen. There is no free lunch in this world. When you are told your are going to die but money can fix it. It is a con. They are lying. They just want your money.
Global warming, government health care, the government can spend enough money to make us all rich, these are fool's gold and we are the fools. Are we a nation of fools that have never been conned before or just a nation that never been conned.
I've been been conned maybe a total of $100 (and that was back when a dollar as worth something.) The last con, I even knew it was a con, was a little different. I had the weekend off from my incredibility entertaining job as a Marine to explore the highlights of Los Angeles. As a shaved bald, new Marine, I stood in a crowd of late 60's long hairs. As luck would have it, a long-hear befriended me and gave me a tour of the city. More accurately, the under bellow of the city. He showed me the hotels you could rent for a dollar a night. The rooms where you could rent a room and women by the hour. Yes, this tour guide showed much to a boy from Albuquerque, only two months in the Marine Corps and quickly learning there is more to this world than the rumors of children.
When night fell, he pulled out the con, "For $20 I can get you 100 record albums. You know. The ones the record companies give to radio stations for promotion." I gave him the $20 knowing it was a con because he didn't even know he'd earned it. He had spent the entire day showing me the side the city the Chamber of Commerce would not have shown me.
Tiger's wife had to tell him to quit golfing to save their marriage. The whole point of the game is putting it in a lot of different holes.
After making a hole-in-one, the Japanese golfer turned to Tiger and asked, "Why are you shouting 'wrong hole, wrong hole' in Japanese?"
How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? Ask Al Gore and the Global Warmers. They top hits, "Let's do the Carbon Footprint" and "It's my Warming and I'll snow if I want to" seem to hold the answer when the records are played backward.
If I sneaked into you house in the middle of the night and increased the CO2 level by 6 ppm (parts per million, would a) you die in you sleep, b) the Department of Health and Hoax quarantine your house and burn it and the occupancies to the ground or c) Al Gore sent you a bill for $10 trillion of carbon credits?
Does that 7 billion tons of carbon put into the atmosphere scare you? Of course, big numbers scare everyone who doesn't take time to think. Our atmosphere is about 4.4 million billion tons. Now that is a scarier number than a Obama Stimulus Package. We should be more worried about the atmosphere crushing us than the much less than 1% of CO2 in that atmosphere.
Global Warming is a game of liars poker for a $10 trillion pot. I think that kind of money is enough motivation to explain deleting, hiding and rigging the climate data. The government health care bill is only $1.5 trillion and that is enough to get every Democrat and liberal in the country lying. In these cases, "better safe than sorry" and displaced compassion mean thousands of dollars out of you household budget. If you are living paycheck to paycheck, pick out a good spot on skid row now. Or buy my new book "10 Steps to Successful Armed Robbery." A free Saturday Night Special included with the first 100 orders.
Golf is the most boring sport invented by man (see Mayan hoop loop using still warm human heads for ball for most exciting.) Golf was immediately invented by man after the invention of marriage by women to have one lousy day a week without nagging. Five days a week, our job nags us. Sundays, God nags us. Seven nights a week, our wives nag us. For one glorious Saturday, we have a nag free zone at the golf course.
Saturday, you hop in the car, no kids to drop off at the government training camp, no stinking rush hour traffic, just quiet, our secret mistress, peace and quiet. Arriving at the golf club, you hunt for a parking space. No reserved parking here. All men are equal on this holy ground. Having anchored the family transport, you lugged the bag of clubs to the nearest cabby. With the grace of a famous couple who did old musicals, the cabby sweeps the golf bag from the ground and into the golf cart.
That joyous "being chaffered" feeling turns into a high blood pressure claymore mine when spot the four cackling hens roosting on the first tee. The caddy hands you a thermos of martini, steps from the cart and boldly approaches the women. "The rumor around the club house is that Morgan's daughter is going to start showing soon. The little shop down the road is having a clearance sale on knock-off wedding gifts that look like they came from Macy's. It even has 'I told you so' gift tags." As the women wiggle into their golf cart and race to the exit, you know why your caddy gets the big tips.
Now you can place, the tee in the ground and put that white, dimpled, tormenting bastard in place. With the flare and mystery of a shaman purging a straw hut village of evil sprites, the caddy reaches into your bag, puts a thin, metallic stick with a large head into your hand and points to a flag in the distance. This is moment. You address the ball as all those books you read on company called standing in next to the ball. You raise the club up and over your head in a "Kama Sutra" position without a partner. The ball arcs down. The ball arcs up. The sound of shattering windshield glass is drown out by the curious electronic noises of a car alarm.
"The bartender at the clubhouse is a friend of mine. She'll swear we've been there all morning," explains the always well tipped caddy. As the caddy navigates to the clubhouse on a course to assure no witnesses, you lean back, close your eyes and bathe in that one day a week without nagging.
Think about it. Golf and Scotch whiskey were invented by the same people.
P.S. As to that part of my life that pays almost enough for me to afford rent in the poor house. I an engaged in a corporate experiment to generate attrition. I've done a lot of varied work in my time and can tell when a team of random people have been put together to fail. We are told by the higher ups how important this project is. Yet, my sources tell me our customers do not want and even fear the product of our labors being forced on them.
Up until last week, I was curious why the company would assemble a bunch of people to fail. I just figured it was high level corporate politics out of the range of my sources. Then I heard the vacation plans or should I say the unplanning of vacations. People's vacation are being canceled. They are expected to eat the cost of airline tickets or other plans they have made. And the company vacation policy is take it or lose it. It can not be carried over to the next year. How many happy campers do you think this project is creating?
As for me? I got no money and no place to go. I told management, I would write code, fix bugs, generally help and do all the computer geek stuff I really don't mind doing and call it my vacation under one condition. "I will not attend any goddamn meetings!" My manager agreed, "Around here, not attending meeting is a vacation all by itself."
Computer geek joke: A code review is having other people explain to you the code you wrote.
In my continuing effort to explain my inane job to a normal person, I make lug nuts. I have a "go/no go" plastic dildo. If the lug nut meets the specifications, one will screw in, the other end will not. Then quality control calls up and says most of the lug nuts are blue but some are red. While I have no idea what is means, it will of course require a meeting of everyone.
At the meeting, our leader will explain, "American has many bridges. A lot of cars cross all those bridges. Those cars have wheels and those wheels have lug nuts. Motorcycles cross those same bridges. I don't own a motorcycle. So I don't know if they require lugs nuts. But you can see there are a lot bridges and even more cars." I get the same speech if I point out the toilet in the men's room is overflowing..
Actually, the reality is worse than the analogy.
P.P.S. Tiger Woods should be running for political office. Putting the sexual scandals ahead of the election to office would be novel change.
Tiger Woods is in trouble for going to bed with a bunch of blondes. The solution is to move to Sweden. Does anyone else see a minor flaw in this plan?
I read a blog that questioned how Tiger's wife had a golf club so handy. If she lived with a carpenter would he wonder why a hammer was handy? Plumber, wrench? Butcher, knife? Preacher, bible with flask of Bourbon?
P.P.P.S. Sunday Harry Ried and the Socialists will move the government health care bill to the next to the last of the decision points to end life as you knew it. This is where the Egyptians put your heart on one side of a balance scale and a feather on the other. We will lose
My
Tombstone
Will Read
No Where Man
"I told you so!"
? - ?
We have become a nation for fools who believe we can win at Three Card Monty because a shill in the crowd has bend the corner of the queen. There is no free lunch in this world. When you are told your are going to die but money can fix it. It is a con. They are lying. They just want your money.
Global warming, government health care, the government can spend enough money to make us all rich, these are fool's gold and we are the fools. Are we a nation of fools that have never been conned before or just a nation that never been conned.
I've been been conned maybe a total of $100 (and that was back when a dollar as worth something.) The last con, I even knew it was a con, was a little different. I had the weekend off from my incredibility entertaining job as a Marine to explore the highlights of Los Angeles. As a shaved bald, new Marine, I stood in a crowd of late 60's long hairs. As luck would have it, a long-hear befriended me and gave me a tour of the city. More accurately, the under bellow of the city. He showed me the hotels you could rent for a dollar a night. The rooms where you could rent a room and women by the hour. Yes, this tour guide showed much to a boy from Albuquerque, only two months in the Marine Corps and quickly learning there is more to this world than the rumors of children.
When night fell, he pulled out the con, "For $20 I can get you 100 record albums. You know. The ones the record companies give to radio stations for promotion." I gave him the $20 knowing it was a con because he didn't even know he'd earned it. He had spent the entire day showing me the side the city the Chamber of Commerce would not have shown me.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Obama's Finger Isn't In The Air
"Back off, man. I'm a scientist."
-- Dr. Peter Venkman in "Ghost Busters"
Since the average person wouldn't know a scientist from a hockey stick, I'll try to explain the two basic types of people who tend to be called scientists
The type A scientist sees a graph of global temperatures for the past 2 hundred years and thinks, "That looks like the opening scene from 'The Outer Limits.'" If half the world is in summer while the other half is in winter, why doesn't it average out to a flat line?" "What other stuff products the same kind of graph?" "Where is the bathroom in this place?"
The type B scientist looks at the same graph and thinks, "If I get a few graduate students to write a computer model to turn that mess into a 'hockey stick' graph, I can call it global warming and get a government grant."
When Al "Fat Ass" Gore says, "the debate is over, we have a consensus of scientist," it just means all the Type B scientists agree the shortest distance between a scientist and government money is calling their "research" global warming.
If I hear "moving the The only difference between the global warmers and the weather controllers are the color of their tin-foil hats. They both believe the Jet Stream is a primary source. The warmers believe their computer models move it. The controllers believe the government (see HAARP) move it. Back in the real world, the Jet Warm is moved by a great big blob of cold air.
Every winter, Santa and his elves (the elves are really succulent wood nymphs sold into bondage by Zeus but this isn't about Santa's dark side) crank up the toy factory and triggering the migration of cold air masses to Flagstaff, Arizona. A herd of these little coldies is a few miles high, hundreds of miles wide and even more hundreds long. When early winter weather spoils you extremely, poorly planned annual nudity is beautiful picnic, are you going to blame the god awful weather on the tidal wave of cold air that has swamped the state or a river of fast moving air a few miles above? I'm sure CRU has a multi-million dollar answer that defies common sense.
I heard a radio caller claim he was up until 1 AM reading all the global warmer email. After reading all these emails, like Sgt. Schultz of "Hogan's Heroes," he saw nothing. Curiously, the only email that came to mind was the same one in most news stories about the hockey stick graph. The caller used the word "massage" the data instead of "tricks" used in the emails he so carefully read. It doesn't matter what words you want to use for lying. CRU is as much about science as Lex Luther is about Neighborhood Watch. [Curious coincidence that the terrorist arm of the SDS called itself the Weathermen.]
While the liberal media as ignore the greatest scientific hoax since the Piltdown Man, they were up at 5 AM PST awaiting the official pronouncement of Obama's Jobless Summit. Obama and an incredulous collection of corruption, criminal and insane decided behind closed doors how they are going to create jobs for America. The basic plan is to tax the evil capitalists until they start hiring more people. Since the Stimulus Program exceeded everyone's expectation (except mine) by creating 10% unemployment, they are going to start with Big Bother of Stimulus.
A source of green jobs will to be hire ACORN to break in peoples houses and a replace all the lights with pig-tail bulbs. Since "Cap and Trade" will make eccentricity unaffordable, no one will be turning on any kind of lights. Unions will take some time off from bankrupting companies to paint everything in the country white. Since the paint is lead based and a racist color, the political uproar will provide great entertainment for the few who can afford the electricity to turn on their TVs.
I start my vacation Thursday. All year our manager has been telling us he doesn't want us to forget our vacation and take it at end of the year. I've spend all year telling my manager, I have not forgotten my vacation. I have scheduled it for the end of the year.
I love the holiday season (no, I don't mean Christmas, I talking Halloween to the Super Bowl) because it bring out the true stupidity of the corporate man. Every year of my working life, America's entire work force spends three months planning the most unique Halloween costume, recipes, spices and inane tricks for cooking the perfect turkey, where to hide the Christmas presents from the kids and where to hide the Christmas bills from the working spouse, make resolutions and predictions for New Years Day, betting on Super Bowl, planning the Super Bowl parties, connecting the Super Bowl results to everything from the stock market to NASA space shuttle disasters. This happen every year as regular as grandma and a bottle of prunes.
No one is going to be squat at the end of the year. We all know this. It not a government secret or tin-foil conspiracy. Yet every corporation in America schedules its most critical projects for completion on December 31 at 11:59:59 PM.
Then comes my second love of this season, keep in mind, the corporation created the "use it or lose it" vacation policy. The project leader will launch a guilt attack, "We are up to our ass in alligators. You can't leave now." This is when I get to dust off my annual Christmas speech. Those well wore words that get me into the Christmas sprite and prepared for a new year.
"During this entire project, we have been up to our something personal and a surrounded by something dangerous. We were behind schedule before we started the project and every day since. We have worked nights and weekends to try to make up for our time stolen by meetings to determine why we are behind schedule."
"During the next two weeks, everyone on this project will be shopping online, stretching their lunch hours tor some Christmas shopping and sneaking off on extended breaks to pick up Christmas trees and decorations. Now, I'm have a guilt trip laid on me because I'm the only here using my vacation time during a time when I know nothing is going to be accomplished."
My job security comes not from being the smartest man on the project but the dumbest. No one wanted me gone for fear they would become the dumbest. I accept blame for anything and take credit for nothing. I never correct anyone in public but ask them for help in private (the kind of help that makes think through what they are doing.) I don't pretend to know things I don't know. I ask people who are looking for an excuse to get away from their boring work and research something interesting.
Admittedly, I'm not a saint. On occasion, too much stupid can become too much. I had one of the geniuses riding my back with the same problem for three days. It was the only time I've seen someone work the same complaint into a single sentence three times. I spend a long night determining the source of the problem and sent a email explaining we need to use our next meeting to decide how we wanted to fix the problem.
Keep in mind our east coast friends have scheduled this meeting on my west coast morning time. I've not yet had my coffee and the president of the United States thinks he works for a foreign government. The meeting was rambling along in its usual pointless matter when the genius of the geniuses suggested I run another to test to prove my conclude on the first genius's complaint. This is akin to saying, "It is all well and good that the dog has 4 legs in the living room. Now take it into the kitchen, turn it upside down and count the legs again." By happenstance, my manager was also on this call. He had never heard me when I choose to be heard.
I was trained by a Marine Corps drill instructor. "When I choose to be heard," even the dead try to plug their ears. My intake of breath was enough for the first genius in this story to start warning the target genius of my voice we didn't need another test. At this point imagine your 7th grade algebra teacher in a smokey the bear hat, with a 6 o'clock shadow, shouting at 110 decibels 1/2 inch from your face. I don't know what it sounded like over the phone but a great silence suddenly descended on this house. That settled the question of Byrum running any dumb ass tests.
Then the "visionary" of the project said as he is always prone to say, "we'll have to have a meeting to decide this." My inner DI spoke again, not with the volume of getting the mule's attention but with the bone-chilling certainty of death, "This is that meeting." The geniuses shut up. My team mates argued some fine technical points. And we had a plan and were ready to go. During the almost year I've been on this project, this was the first time a decision was made right then and there.
But this is Christmas, it's not about my boring, miserable life. This is a time of magic. A time when should all take time out and see the world through the eyes of our children. Life, the universe, everything is a great mystery. We have to pause and ponder it. We have to take one day a year to allow the miracles to happen. Yes, it's not possible. It can't be true. But we have all the other days of the year to be realistic, cynical. Why not one day? One lousy day to hope the impossible hope. to dream the impossible dream. One day to see the world in the wonder and truth of a child's eyes.
What if this Christmas we called a truce and didn't lie to ourselves for one day? Imagine, for one day, one lousy day, you admit to yourself what you do and why you are doing it. I'm not saying confess to the world. I'm just suggesting get up Christmas morning and look in the bathroom mirror. Who is that? Has it all been worth it? At that moment, facing yourself in the mirror, do you want to rehearse what you will say to God when the time comes? Can you say the sum of all the deeds of your life made the world a better place? Can you look back on your life without shame? We have all made mistakes. But was that a mistake or cold, calculating evil?
It doesn't matter if you go down to the animal shelter and rescue puppies before they are killed or fantasize dressing as Santa and slitting the throats of little girls, on this one day look into your soul and judge yourself. No "they made me" crap or "it's all they fault" nonsense. Every Christmas Day should be a day to ask, "Am I who I want to be?" If not, why not? You don't need a dopey late night commercial to change your life.
-- Dr. Peter Venkman in "Ghost Busters"
Since the average person wouldn't know a scientist from a hockey stick, I'll try to explain the two basic types of people who tend to be called scientists
The type A scientist sees a graph of global temperatures for the past 2 hundred years and thinks, "That looks like the opening scene from 'The Outer Limits.'" If half the world is in summer while the other half is in winter, why doesn't it average out to a flat line?" "What other stuff products the same kind of graph?" "Where is the bathroom in this place?"
The type B scientist looks at the same graph and thinks, "If I get a few graduate students to write a computer model to turn that mess into a 'hockey stick' graph, I can call it global warming and get a government grant."
When Al "Fat Ass" Gore says, "the debate is over, we have a consensus of scientist," it just means all the Type B scientists agree the shortest distance between a scientist and government money is calling their "research" global warming.
If I hear "moving the The only difference between the global warmers and the weather controllers are the color of their tin-foil hats. They both believe the Jet Stream is a primary source. The warmers believe their computer models move it. The controllers believe the government (see HAARP) move it. Back in the real world, the Jet Warm is moved by a great big blob of cold air.
Every winter, Santa and his elves (the elves are really succulent wood nymphs sold into bondage by Zeus but this isn't about Santa's dark side) crank up the toy factory and triggering the migration of cold air masses to Flagstaff, Arizona. A herd of these little coldies is a few miles high, hundreds of miles wide and even more hundreds long. When early winter weather spoils you extremely, poorly planned annual nudity is beautiful picnic, are you going to blame the god awful weather on the tidal wave of cold air that has swamped the state or a river of fast moving air a few miles above? I'm sure CRU has a multi-million dollar answer that defies common sense.
I heard a radio caller claim he was up until 1 AM reading all the global warmer email. After reading all these emails, like Sgt. Schultz of "Hogan's Heroes," he saw nothing. Curiously, the only email that came to mind was the same one in most news stories about the hockey stick graph. The caller used the word "massage" the data instead of "tricks" used in the emails he so carefully read. It doesn't matter what words you want to use for lying. CRU is as much about science as Lex Luther is about Neighborhood Watch. [Curious coincidence that the terrorist arm of the SDS called itself the Weathermen.]
While the liberal media as ignore the greatest scientific hoax since the Piltdown Man, they were up at 5 AM PST awaiting the official pronouncement of Obama's Jobless Summit. Obama and an incredulous collection of corruption, criminal and insane decided behind closed doors how they are going to create jobs for America. The basic plan is to tax the evil capitalists until they start hiring more people. Since the Stimulus Program exceeded everyone's expectation (except mine) by creating 10% unemployment, they are going to start with Big Bother of Stimulus.
A source of green jobs will to be hire ACORN to break in peoples houses and a replace all the lights with pig-tail bulbs. Since "Cap and Trade" will make eccentricity unaffordable, no one will be turning on any kind of lights. Unions will take some time off from bankrupting companies to paint everything in the country white. Since the paint is lead based and a racist color, the political uproar will provide great entertainment for the few who can afford the electricity to turn on their TVs.
I start my vacation Thursday. All year our manager has been telling us he doesn't want us to forget our vacation and take it at end of the year. I've spend all year telling my manager, I have not forgotten my vacation. I have scheduled it for the end of the year.
I love the holiday season (no, I don't mean Christmas, I talking Halloween to the Super Bowl) because it bring out the true stupidity of the corporate man. Every year of my working life, America's entire work force spends three months planning the most unique Halloween costume, recipes, spices and inane tricks for cooking the perfect turkey, where to hide the Christmas presents from the kids and where to hide the Christmas bills from the working spouse, make resolutions and predictions for New Years Day, betting on Super Bowl, planning the Super Bowl parties, connecting the Super Bowl results to everything from the stock market to NASA space shuttle disasters. This happen every year as regular as grandma and a bottle of prunes.
No one is going to be squat at the end of the year. We all know this. It not a government secret or tin-foil conspiracy. Yet every corporation in America schedules its most critical projects for completion on December 31 at 11:59:59 PM.
Then comes my second love of this season, keep in mind, the corporation created the "use it or lose it" vacation policy. The project leader will launch a guilt attack, "We are up to our ass in alligators. You can't leave now." This is when I get to dust off my annual Christmas speech. Those well wore words that get me into the Christmas sprite and prepared for a new year.
"During this entire project, we have been up to our something personal and a surrounded by something dangerous. We were behind schedule before we started the project and every day since. We have worked nights and weekends to try to make up for our time stolen by meetings to determine why we are behind schedule."
"During the next two weeks, everyone on this project will be shopping online, stretching their lunch hours tor some Christmas shopping and sneaking off on extended breaks to pick up Christmas trees and decorations. Now, I'm have a guilt trip laid on me because I'm the only here using my vacation time during a time when I know nothing is going to be accomplished."
My job security comes not from being the smartest man on the project but the dumbest. No one wanted me gone for fear they would become the dumbest. I accept blame for anything and take credit for nothing. I never correct anyone in public but ask them for help in private (the kind of help that makes think through what they are doing.) I don't pretend to know things I don't know. I ask people who are looking for an excuse to get away from their boring work and research something interesting.
Admittedly, I'm not a saint. On occasion, too much stupid can become too much. I had one of the geniuses riding my back with the same problem for three days. It was the only time I've seen someone work the same complaint into a single sentence three times. I spend a long night determining the source of the problem and sent a email explaining we need to use our next meeting to decide how we wanted to fix the problem.
Keep in mind our east coast friends have scheduled this meeting on my west coast morning time. I've not yet had my coffee and the president of the United States thinks he works for a foreign government. The meeting was rambling along in its usual pointless matter when the genius of the geniuses suggested I run another to test to prove my conclude on the first genius's complaint. This is akin to saying, "It is all well and good that the dog has 4 legs in the living room. Now take it into the kitchen, turn it upside down and count the legs again." By happenstance, my manager was also on this call. He had never heard me when I choose to be heard.
I was trained by a Marine Corps drill instructor. "When I choose to be heard," even the dead try to plug their ears. My intake of breath was enough for the first genius in this story to start warning the target genius of my voice we didn't need another test. At this point imagine your 7th grade algebra teacher in a smokey the bear hat, with a 6 o'clock shadow, shouting at 110 decibels 1/2 inch from your face. I don't know what it sounded like over the phone but a great silence suddenly descended on this house. That settled the question of Byrum running any dumb ass tests.
Then the "visionary" of the project said as he is always prone to say, "we'll have to have a meeting to decide this." My inner DI spoke again, not with the volume of getting the mule's attention but with the bone-chilling certainty of death, "This is that meeting." The geniuses shut up. My team mates argued some fine technical points. And we had a plan and were ready to go. During the almost year I've been on this project, this was the first time a decision was made right then and there.
But this is Christmas, it's not about my boring, miserable life. This is a time of magic. A time when should all take time out and see the world through the eyes of our children. Life, the universe, everything is a great mystery. We have to pause and ponder it. We have to take one day a year to allow the miracles to happen. Yes, it's not possible. It can't be true. But we have all the other days of the year to be realistic, cynical. Why not one day? One lousy day to hope the impossible hope. to dream the impossible dream. One day to see the world in the wonder and truth of a child's eyes.
What if this Christmas we called a truce and didn't lie to ourselves for one day? Imagine, for one day, one lousy day, you admit to yourself what you do and why you are doing it. I'm not saying confess to the world. I'm just suggesting get up Christmas morning and look in the bathroom mirror. Who is that? Has it all been worth it? At that moment, facing yourself in the mirror, do you want to rehearse what you will say to God when the time comes? Can you say the sum of all the deeds of your life made the world a better place? Can you look back on your life without shame? We have all made mistakes. But was that a mistake or cold, calculating evil?
It doesn't matter if you go down to the animal shelter and rescue puppies before they are killed or fantasize dressing as Santa and slitting the throats of little girls, on this one day look into your soul and judge yourself. No "they made me" crap or "it's all they fault" nonsense. Every Christmas Day should be a day to ask, "Am I who I want to be?" If not, why not? You don't need a dopey late night commercial to change your life.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
P.S. Obama VS Afghanistan
While guiding my liberal stepson through the back roads to avoid the rush hour compounded with Christmas shopping traffic, he attempted to speak to me about Obama's 30,000 troops, "The General just as for 40,000 so he could get 30,000."
"The military is so bloated, it has 10 non-fighting man for every man in combat."
I bite off his head and spit it out the window. I will not be lectured on military matters by any slimly, liberal civilian. Afghanistan is going to turn into a disaster because liberals think war is some kind of game. Liberal ass clowns have zero military knowledge. Woodstock is what happens when liberals try to organize 100,000 people. The military has to be able to feed, clothe and arm over a million men. A liberal has no idea what it takes to get a bullet from a factory into a soldier's clip on the battlefield. Afghanistan is in the middle of nowhere. The military has to get men, equipment, planes, helicopters, trucks, Humvee and food. Command, control and intelligence communications have to flow back and fore around the world. And then you have a bunch of people trying to kill you while you try to set up all this.
Liberals should never, ever be allowed to run a war. They will always micro-manage it to total defeat.
P.S. The Jesse's conspiracy program just started. I kid you not, they started with mind control and said that's unrealistic. But weather control is a serious possibility.
I'm thinking maybe I should send these people some scripts. I'm sure I know more conspiracy theories than their crack research team.
P.P.S. While Jesse's show did bring up mind control, no one in the HAARP conspiracy crowd ever did. The mind control angle comes for an X-Files episode. I only put it in the previous post as a joke.
"The military is so bloated, it has 10 non-fighting man for every man in combat."
I bite off his head and spit it out the window. I will not be lectured on military matters by any slimly, liberal civilian. Afghanistan is going to turn into a disaster because liberals think war is some kind of game. Liberal ass clowns have zero military knowledge. Woodstock is what happens when liberals try to organize 100,000 people. The military has to be able to feed, clothe and arm over a million men. A liberal has no idea what it takes to get a bullet from a factory into a soldier's clip on the battlefield. Afghanistan is in the middle of nowhere. The military has to get men, equipment, planes, helicopters, trucks, Humvee and food. Command, control and intelligence communications have to flow back and fore around the world. And then you have a bunch of people trying to kill you while you try to set up all this.
Liberals should never, ever be allowed to run a war. They will always micro-manage it to total defeat.
P.S. The Jesse's conspiracy program just started. I kid you not, they started with mind control and said that's unrealistic. But weather control is a serious possibility.
I'm thinking maybe I should send these people some scripts. I'm sure I know more conspiracy theories than their crack research team.
P.P.S. While Jesse's show did bring up mind control, no one in the HAARP conspiracy crowd ever did. The mind control angle comes for an X-Files episode. I only put it in the previous post as a joke.
Is It Weird Enough For You?
Jesse "The Body" Ventura is the only person I know who continues to start new careers that are even more phony than TV wrestling. Like a lot of TV celebrities he moved into a movie career. It's hard to find anything phonier than Hollywood. But our boy Jesse has a knack for it.
Jesse entered the wild and woolly world of politics. It is hard to for anything to be more disconnected from reality than a government job. Look at Congress spending trillions of dollars and trying to explain it as just a few more zeroes, no big deal. Yet Jesse has returned to TV with a gig that is farther into left field than the stadium parking lot.
"Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura" is the new reality TV show of reality TV shows. Tonight's episode is "HAARP." HAARP is a super-secret government program for controlling the weather. It is only known to those who wear tin-foil hat decoders. This government program is the real cause of global warming. It was constructed at the same time all the global coolers changed mental institutions and became global warmers. If you saw the acres of radio antennas HAARP has, you'd know it could only be used to control the weather. Some people think it's a mind control experiment but they're just crazy.
Jesse's show next week is 9/11 (an inside job.) Obama's man in the White House, Van Jones, knew Bush caused 9/11. That is why the Republican's got him fired. Planes didn't crash into the Twin Towers. Those were holograms. The CIA packed the buildings with C4 and blew them up. It's wasn't a plane crashing into the Pentagon. It was a CIA truck bomb. The CIA ordered their own jet fighters to shoot down the plane in Pennsylvania.
See how simple conspiracies really are when a credible TV host explains them to you. Piltdown man was not a hoax. He is a climate scientist working at CRU. If you don't know what CRU is, a tip of the tin-foil hat to you You are a progressive who believes the government can spend us into prosperity and can provide us with national health care for free.
Jesse entered the wild and woolly world of politics. It is hard to for anything to be more disconnected from reality than a government job. Look at Congress spending trillions of dollars and trying to explain it as just a few more zeroes, no big deal. Yet Jesse has returned to TV with a gig that is farther into left field than the stadium parking lot.
"Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura" is the new reality TV show of reality TV shows. Tonight's episode is "HAARP." HAARP is a super-secret government program for controlling the weather. It is only known to those who wear tin-foil hat decoders. This government program is the real cause of global warming. It was constructed at the same time all the global coolers changed mental institutions and became global warmers. If you saw the acres of radio antennas HAARP has, you'd know it could only be used to control the weather. Some people think it's a mind control experiment but they're just crazy.
Jesse's show next week is 9/11 (an inside job.) Obama's man in the White House, Van Jones, knew Bush caused 9/11. That is why the Republican's got him fired. Planes didn't crash into the Twin Towers. Those were holograms. The CIA packed the buildings with C4 and blew them up. It's wasn't a plane crashing into the Pentagon. It was a CIA truck bomb. The CIA ordered their own jet fighters to shoot down the plane in Pennsylvania.
See how simple conspiracies really are when a credible TV host explains them to you. Piltdown man was not a hoax. He is a climate scientist working at CRU. If you don't know what CRU is, a tip of the tin-foil hat to you You are a progressive who believes the government can spend us into prosperity and can provide us with national health care for free.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Mr. O Lies And Good Men Die
"While the election was marred by fraud, it was consistent with Afghani law." ACORN in the back row applauded Only someone from Chicago would consider election fraud consistent with election law.
"There were no requests for troops or military resources before 2010." Weasel Words!!!! It is a good thing the general's report is classified or there would be a lot more pissed off people than just me.
There is no Military Fairy that magically moves armies. The general needed a quick decision before winter set in to be ready for a spring offensive. Troops and supplies needed to be moved into country, positioned and given time to acclimate to the altitude and conditions. Troop movements during winter in that country are the nightmare of Korea again. A few trucks or tanks over snow and frozen ground turns it into mud. So the new people won't be in place until spring.
Without enough people to patrol the perimeters of the villages, the bad guys will spend winter quietly setting up strongholds in the villages. When the spring offensive starts, our troops will find the enemy is behind them as well as in front of them. This will result in a lot of artillery fire and close air support. A lot of civilians will be killed. The Obama lovers will call our soldiers baby killers. Phase one of the American withdrawal from Afghanistan will be complete.
"There were no requests for troops or military resources before 2010." Weasel Words!!!! It is a good thing the general's report is classified or there would be a lot more pissed off people than just me.
There is no Military Fairy that magically moves armies. The general needed a quick decision before winter set in to be ready for a spring offensive. Troops and supplies needed to be moved into country, positioned and given time to acclimate to the altitude and conditions. Troop movements during winter in that country are the nightmare of Korea again. A few trucks or tanks over snow and frozen ground turns it into mud. So the new people won't be in place until spring.
Without enough people to patrol the perimeters of the villages, the bad guys will spend winter quietly setting up strongholds in the villages. When the spring offensive starts, our troops will find the enemy is behind them as well as in front of them. This will result in a lot of artillery fire and close air support. A lot of civilians will be killed. The Obama lovers will call our soldiers baby killers. Phase one of the American withdrawal from Afghanistan will be complete.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Global Warmers
I've been following the escaped email story from a bit more of a geek view.
All these "climate researchers" should either be in jail or permanent contestants on "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?"
The challenge for me is how to write this up so that it is entertaining to normal human beings.
The stolen emails not reported in the liberal media are from CRU. CRU is like the Mecca of Global Warming. Al Gore, the UN, everyone's nonsense basic came out of CRU.
CRU has a massive quantity of computer files full of numbers. These numbers may be temperatures, precipitation or even bowling scores. No one at CRU today is really sure. Are the numbers monthly, annual or league nights? Who knows? To process all this trash they want to call data, they need a trash compactor (or a suite of computer programs as they like to say at CRU.)
All the wonderful computer programs and computer models (as heard on TV) are yet another Scooby Mystery Special for the boys at CRU. But these people are scientists. They know things. Apparently, they've spent the last three years changing "bad" number and fixing "bugs" in the programs. To what end you ask?
CRU can't reproduce the results they have already published to justify global warming. CRU is spending all that grant money to make up those pretty little graphs they use to scare us to death.
If I wasn't such a cruel bastard, I could tell "Harry the programmer" why he'll never get the numbers and programs to work. The "trick" as the wise old men of CRU call it in their email is known as a graphic artist in the mundane world of us mere mortals.
P.S. In the general's classified report, he requested 60,000 troops. 40,000 was his minimum number.
P.P.S. Obama's speech: He started with a long-winded explanation of how we got into Afghanistan. How Bush screwed up and dragged us into Iraq. Then finished with his plan for trickling some more soldiers into Afghanistan, getting a lot of good men killed, disheartening the American public and pulling out with another "Vietnam victory."
The liberals come on TV and say how proud they are of Obama taking so much time to consider the military options. Obama has zero military knowledge. How could he consider anything intelligently?
Since the general's report is classified, no one can contradict what I'm about to say. And my name is not on the sign in sheet for the copy Congress has.
There are only two basic strategies available in Afghanistan, a) protect the civilians or b) chase down and kill bad guys. Option (b) by itself is not working. We kill bad guys but the Taliban takes control of villages behind us. Option (a) we have enough troops to protect the capital and some surrounding villages.
With another 40,000 troops, we could protect most of the country. With 60,000 more troops, we would have enough strength to protect and take the fight to the bad guys.
All these "climate researchers" should either be in jail or permanent contestants on "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?"
The challenge for me is how to write this up so that it is entertaining to normal human beings.
The stolen emails not reported in the liberal media are from CRU. CRU is like the Mecca of Global Warming. Al Gore, the UN, everyone's nonsense basic came out of CRU.
CRU has a massive quantity of computer files full of numbers. These numbers may be temperatures, precipitation or even bowling scores. No one at CRU today is really sure. Are the numbers monthly, annual or league nights? Who knows? To process all this trash they want to call data, they need a trash compactor (or a suite of computer programs as they like to say at CRU.)
All the wonderful computer programs and computer models (as heard on TV) are yet another Scooby Mystery Special for the boys at CRU. But these people are scientists. They know things. Apparently, they've spent the last three years changing "bad" number and fixing "bugs" in the programs. To what end you ask?
CRU can't reproduce the results they have already published to justify global warming. CRU is spending all that grant money to make up those pretty little graphs they use to scare us to death.
If I wasn't such a cruel bastard, I could tell "Harry the programmer" why he'll never get the numbers and programs to work. The "trick" as the wise old men of CRU call it in their email is known as a graphic artist in the mundane world of us mere mortals.
P.S. In the general's classified report, he requested 60,000 troops. 40,000 was his minimum number.
P.P.S. Obama's speech: He started with a long-winded explanation of how we got into Afghanistan. How Bush screwed up and dragged us into Iraq. Then finished with his plan for trickling some more soldiers into Afghanistan, getting a lot of good men killed, disheartening the American public and pulling out with another "Vietnam victory."
The liberals come on TV and say how proud they are of Obama taking so much time to consider the military options. Obama has zero military knowledge. How could he consider anything intelligently?
Since the general's report is classified, no one can contradict what I'm about to say. And my name is not on the sign in sheet for the copy Congress has.
There are only two basic strategies available in Afghanistan, a) protect the civilians or b) chase down and kill bad guys. Option (b) by itself is not working. We kill bad guys but the Taliban takes control of villages behind us. Option (a) we have enough troops to protect the capital and some surrounding villages.
With another 40,000 troops, we could protect most of the country. With 60,000 more troops, we would have enough strength to protect and take the fight to the bad guys.
Cop Killing
The media reported this as a planned ambush.
The killer told his friends he was going to kill a cop. There was no planning. He just started shooting.
Tactically, you don't want to start a fire fight when you are out gunned 4 to 1. When faced with multiple opponents, they must be dispatched in order of their immediate threat. The killer has a gunshot wound as his failing grade in squad level tactics.
The media reported the criminal took a belly shot in the first shooting. It that had been accurate, the killer would have had 8-10 hours to live. He would have been found curled up in a fetal position dead in his aunt's house.
The police say they had the aunt's house under surveillance and surrounded it after he was seen entering. The say he was helped to escape after the police surround the house. Wrong.
The killer entered the house. He took what he came for and left before the police arrived to surround the house. The question is what did he take.
He would want weapons, ammo, money and fake IDs. This man is not going to hold up someplace. He is going to run for it. Being on step ahead of the police, his medical condition becomes his immediate problem. Without proper medical treatment, infection will set in over the next week or two. First he will get a raging fever. After a few days of the fever he will have extreme difficulty thinking. The inflection will have entered the blood system and he be dead in a couple of weeks.
Given the criminals background, he will try to hide in an urban environment. Probably the slums. It is likely he will be heading north hoping to escape to Canada.
Considering all the factors, I doubt the main character of this story will last until the weekend.
The killer told his friends he was going to kill a cop. There was no planning. He just started shooting.
Tactically, you don't want to start a fire fight when you are out gunned 4 to 1. When faced with multiple opponents, they must be dispatched in order of their immediate threat. The killer has a gunshot wound as his failing grade in squad level tactics.
The media reported the criminal took a belly shot in the first shooting. It that had been accurate, the killer would have had 8-10 hours to live. He would have been found curled up in a fetal position dead in his aunt's house.
The police say they had the aunt's house under surveillance and surrounded it after he was seen entering. The say he was helped to escape after the police surround the house. Wrong.
The killer entered the house. He took what he came for and left before the police arrived to surround the house. The question is what did he take.
He would want weapons, ammo, money and fake IDs. This man is not going to hold up someplace. He is going to run for it. Being on step ahead of the police, his medical condition becomes his immediate problem. Without proper medical treatment, infection will set in over the next week or two. First he will get a raging fever. After a few days of the fever he will have extreme difficulty thinking. The inflection will have entered the blood system and he be dead in a couple of weeks.
Given the criminals background, he will try to hide in an urban environment. Probably the slums. It is likely he will be heading north hoping to escape to Canada.
Considering all the factors, I doubt the main character of this story will last until the weekend.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Desperate House Wives Crash Obama Snob-arama
White House says uninvited dinner couple met Obama
My unbounded disgust for this story spans space and time. This story is only of interest to a smug self-righteous media and the brain-dead slugs waiting for American Idol to spontaneously appear on their TV screens.
Two publicity seeking snobs crash a party of elitist snobs. That is the total sum of this stupid story. The ability of an air-headed reporter with a bad toupee to utter the words "what if" is at best a boring, self-indulgent editorial or at worst a form of mental masturbation that should come with an intellectual X rating. V-chips nationwide should resign in shame for not blocking this tripe.
What if the couple showed up in a tank? What if Blondie's dress was made of anthrax and Dagwood's tie was c4. What if a 16 ton weight flew from the sky and crushed everyone? Any bleeding fool can ask "what if" infinitum until the end of days but its sheer quantity gives it neither intellectual value or interest.
The Secret Service agent correctly determined the two people were snobs. The world wasn't going to stop spinning on its axis if that stupid party of snobs had two extra snobs. His career might come to a grinding halt if he left the wrong pair of snobs standing in mud, cooling their heels in the rain whether invited or not.
What if the couple has sticks of dynamite up their bums? Then they would be bloody terrorists and the Secret Service agent would have shot them. The only weapon snobs have a wit so dull it bores people to death.
How could the Secret Service agent know they weren't terrorists? The same way I know "what if" people are not toasters. Toasters are the shiny, smart ones. The "what if" people are so self-centered in their stupidity, they can't understand there are intelligent, well-trained people in this world who know how to do their jobs.
What if she was hiding a suicide explosives vest under her skin tight dress? Stupid people never give it a rest. They want to worry us with dangerous "ifs" that are less likely than a rogue planet crashing into the Earth tomorrow and knocking us into the Sun. "What if" people think one of my guns is going to jump up, load itself and blow my brains out. The What Ifers want to protect us from microwaving plastic, power lines, cell phones, movie popcorn, Chinese food and salt.
The most evil What Ifers of all are the Global Warmed Leftovers. They are the same assholes who predicted an ice age in the '70s. All they have done is turn their charts upside down and changed the label on their snake oil. These useless pukes want nothing more than to separate the suckers from their money. These slugs are so sleazy the politicians have climbed into bed with them for a piece of the scheme. The stupid swine are going to destroy the world's economy to fill their pockets with money that will have become worthless. Without an economy somewhere to back up the money it is nothing but numbers in a computer file.
Drive the hybrids, cap the oil wells, next stop is the depths of Hell,
The Web Walker
The Attic of Unheeded Warnings
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Bye, Bye Turkey, Bye-Bye (or Helloooo Christmas)
Sweet potato casserole without marshmallows? That's as bad a pole stripper in my grandma's night robe.
Thanksgiving is meant to be larger than life, excessive and over-the-edge. A turkey gave its all for our feast and by God, it will be the best it can be. Pumpkin pie must be on the menu. It is Thanksgivings counter attack against Halloween. It is the fattening of Thanksgiving that gives Santa his "a bowlful of jelly" look.
Without Thanksgiving football would be just another obscure sport like soccer. After tearing apart a turkey, Americans want to see real men cracking skulls and breaking bones. Leather helmets and flying wings were what made Thanksgiving great not a pansy "happy holidays." "Merry F'ing Christmas you F'ing pagans!" is the battle cry of red, white and blue blooded Americans.
We nailed a guy to a cross to create the greatest retail sales day in the history of mankind, Black Friday. Spend man, spend, before the fools on the Hill tax it away from you. What is gold or earthly wealth compared to the sparkle in the eye of a small child? A world of lead-painted, choke-hazard toys await.
This Friday while we clear the retail store shelves with stolen credit cards, burgle our neighbors houses while they are out shopping and trade counterfeit food stamps for cheap wine, let's take a moment to give thanks to all the suckers who make our lifestyle possible. Without taxpayers, Congress would have to work for a living.
With the Thanksgiving leftovers rotting in the refrigerator, it is time to put up the Christmas decorations (or at least add some additions to the last year's decorations you didn't take down.) The is a wonderful opportunity to read this year's batch of new warning labels. "Do not use this ladder to serve salad." "Do not insert Christmas bulbs in mouth." "Christmas tree may make stand unstable." "Help! I'm being held prisoner in a Hallmark Christmas card factory."
You also get to test out your health care insurance when the irresistible force of a hammer meets the immobile object of your thumb. Or you learn the warning label, "this is not a step," on the top of the ladder really meant it. Or learning being a human extension cord between two strings of Christmas lights is a real heart stopper.
As the taillights of your ambulance fad into the late November fog, think of all the Christmas presents you hospital bill will buy the children of the hospital staff.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,
Thanksgiving is meant to be larger than life, excessive and over-the-edge. A turkey gave its all for our feast and by God, it will be the best it can be. Pumpkin pie must be on the menu. It is Thanksgivings counter attack against Halloween. It is the fattening of Thanksgiving that gives Santa his "a bowlful of jelly" look.
Without Thanksgiving football would be just another obscure sport like soccer. After tearing apart a turkey, Americans want to see real men cracking skulls and breaking bones. Leather helmets and flying wings were what made Thanksgiving great not a pansy "happy holidays." "Merry F'ing Christmas you F'ing pagans!" is the battle cry of red, white and blue blooded Americans.
We nailed a guy to a cross to create the greatest retail sales day in the history of mankind, Black Friday. Spend man, spend, before the fools on the Hill tax it away from you. What is gold or earthly wealth compared to the sparkle in the eye of a small child? A world of lead-painted, choke-hazard toys await.
This Friday while we clear the retail store shelves with stolen credit cards, burgle our neighbors houses while they are out shopping and trade counterfeit food stamps for cheap wine, let's take a moment to give thanks to all the suckers who make our lifestyle possible. Without taxpayers, Congress would have to work for a living.
With the Thanksgiving leftovers rotting in the refrigerator, it is time to put up the Christmas decorations (or at least add some additions to the last year's decorations you didn't take down.) The is a wonderful opportunity to read this year's batch of new warning labels. "Do not use this ladder to serve salad." "Do not insert Christmas bulbs in mouth." "Christmas tree may make stand unstable." "Help! I'm being held prisoner in a Hallmark Christmas card factory."
You also get to test out your health care insurance when the irresistible force of a hammer meets the immobile object of your thumb. Or you learn the warning label, "this is not a step," on the top of the ladder really meant it. Or learning being a human extension cord between two strings of Christmas lights is a real heart stopper.
As the taillights of your ambulance fad into the late November fog, think of all the Christmas presents you hospital bill will buy the children of the hospital staff.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Turkey In The White House
For over a hundred years, Americans happily celebrated Thanksgiving on the last Thursday of November. President Lincoln sanctioned the nations many official and unofficial celebrations by declaring the last Thursday of November the federal holiday Thanksgiving day.
The American people happily and peacefully continued to celebrate Thanksgiving on the last Thursday of November until along came American's Lenin, FDR. In 1939, President Franklin Roosevelt moved Thanksgiving Day forward one week. The public outrage was on the scale we hear today opposing government health care and Congress' out of control spending. FDR, a tool of big business, said Thanksgiving falling on November 30th didn't leave enough shopping days until Christmas. FDR's puppet congress agreed and changed the federal holiday to the 4th Thursday of November.
Due to FDR's unamerican activities, the National Turkey Federation (NTF) waited until 1947 to presented the President of the United States with a live turkey and two dressed turkeys in celebration of Thanksgiving.
Harry Truman gave the turkey a pep talk about heat in the kitchen before making it the main course that Thursday. Eisenhower ate his first presidential turkey in 1953. By his second term, the last of the White House kitchen stall willing to pluck a bird had moved on. The Eisenhower staff smuggled the live turkey out of the White House and brought one of the dressed to the table.
When President John F. Kennedy was presented with a bird wearing a sign that read "Good Eatin' Mr. President" he responded with "Let's just keep him." No turkeys survived being donated to Nixon. In a confusion of paper work, Ford pardoned Nixon instead of the turkey. Carter burned his turkey to heat the Oval Office due to an energy shortage. Ronald Reagan said something about trust but verify so no one knows what became of those turkeys. In 1989, George H.W. Bush became the first president to pardon the turkey. George W. Bush added the tradition of giving the bird to Disney Land.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving.
The American people happily and peacefully continued to celebrate Thanksgiving on the last Thursday of November until along came American's Lenin, FDR. In 1939, President Franklin Roosevelt moved Thanksgiving Day forward one week. The public outrage was on the scale we hear today opposing government health care and Congress' out of control spending. FDR, a tool of big business, said Thanksgiving falling on November 30th didn't leave enough shopping days until Christmas. FDR's puppet congress agreed and changed the federal holiday to the 4th Thursday of November.
Due to FDR's unamerican activities, the National Turkey Federation (NTF) waited until 1947 to presented the President of the United States with a live turkey and two dressed turkeys in celebration of Thanksgiving.
Harry Truman gave the turkey a pep talk about heat in the kitchen before making it the main course that Thursday. Eisenhower ate his first presidential turkey in 1953. By his second term, the last of the White House kitchen stall willing to pluck a bird had moved on. The Eisenhower staff smuggled the live turkey out of the White House and brought one of the dressed to the table.
When President John F. Kennedy was presented with a bird wearing a sign that read "Good Eatin' Mr. President" he responded with "Let's just keep him." No turkeys survived being donated to Nixon. In a confusion of paper work, Ford pardoned Nixon instead of the turkey. Carter burned his turkey to heat the Oval Office due to an energy shortage. Ronald Reagan said something about trust but verify so no one knows what became of those turkeys. In 1989, George H.W. Bush became the first president to pardon the turkey. George W. Bush added the tradition of giving the bird to Disney Land.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Government Health Care Ad
You've seen the government health care commercial with the poor little kids.
In one year, I'll break arm and my parents will have to sell the house. In two years, I'll have leukemia and my parents will have to declare bankruptcy. In three years, I'll be a nun and Obama won't love me anymore.
The government health care bill does not kick in until 2013 (or 2014.) Those kids are doomed even if the bill passes.
Is Sarah Palin running for president in 2012? I don't know. Those who say she is have not objective fact to hang their hat on. Those who say we won't only spew their reasons they don't want her to run. They provide no insight into her mind.
This weekend, the king of the hill is going to put a hole in my roof and I'm going to drown. Between bribes and parliamentary tricks, Reid will get Obama-care through the Senate. With California taxes, Obama taxes and health care costs, I am doomed. All the liberal bastards that made my doom possible will be remembered to my dying day.
For all the little tin-gods ruling from the Hill, while you can only see the personal power that comes with a communist government, you will have to learn how to with the stench of death history tells us your tyranny will bring. Germany, Russia, China, Cambodia millions always die to satisfy the lust for power. The trophy of your victory will be to rule the ashes of a ruined economy. There will be no more capitalist excesses to enjoy. You will only be the kings of beggars until a stronger, crueler people take your crowns.
Orphan knows when to say goodbye. After her rating tanked for endorsing Obama and doubled having Sarah Palin on. Yes, it time to go when you have no idea what the audience wants.
Joe Bidden has a lot of experience. Every time he opens his mouth he proves to be an experienced idiot.
My America ended with the carnival. When we became to politically correct for freak shows. We became to wimpy to defend our own freedom. We no longer have the ability to laugh at and ridicule people. Al Gore and global warming, we should be hooting and hollering, throwing rotten vegetables and dead cats. Pig tail light bulbs will save us from doom. How can anyone take these Luddites seriously?
Power lines, cell phones, Tupperware in the microwave, second hand asbestos will kill me but no laughs. My toaster has a warning label to not to use in the bathtub. My candy bar has instructions on how to unwrap it. Our government can't successfully circulate a one dollar coin. Yet these are the people telling us how to run our lives. And we are not laughing at them. They are idiots, boneheads. They couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel.
Our Congress is the freak show of our times. Nancy, Barney Franks, Reid, Dobbs should all have their portraits painted large on canvas and hung from a tent. "Gather close folks. Gaze on the subhumans who rule you. For a mere quarter, two bits, see the freaks pass laws. Come inside friend and see the very laws of our society bent and twisted. Listen to them distort the English language into nonsense. Not a dollar, not half-a-dollar for only one-fourth-of-a-dollar be dazzled by their Constitution illogic. Come one, come all, see the Congress that has played before the royalty of Europe. They will make your eyes roll and your skin crawl. If you only see one freak show this summer, this is the one to see. Thanks folks, buy your tickets from my glamorous assistant and meet me inside."
In one year, I'll break arm and my parents will have to sell the house. In two years, I'll have leukemia and my parents will have to declare bankruptcy. In three years, I'll be a nun and Obama won't love me anymore.
The government health care bill does not kick in until 2013 (or 2014.) Those kids are doomed even if the bill passes.
Is Sarah Palin running for president in 2012? I don't know. Those who say she is have not objective fact to hang their hat on. Those who say we won't only spew their reasons they don't want her to run. They provide no insight into her mind.
This weekend, the king of the hill is going to put a hole in my roof and I'm going to drown. Between bribes and parliamentary tricks, Reid will get Obama-care through the Senate. With California taxes, Obama taxes and health care costs, I am doomed. All the liberal bastards that made my doom possible will be remembered to my dying day.
For all the little tin-gods ruling from the Hill, while you can only see the personal power that comes with a communist government, you will have to learn how to with the stench of death history tells us your tyranny will bring. Germany, Russia, China, Cambodia millions always die to satisfy the lust for power. The trophy of your victory will be to rule the ashes of a ruined economy. There will be no more capitalist excesses to enjoy. You will only be the kings of beggars until a stronger, crueler people take your crowns.
Orphan knows when to say goodbye. After her rating tanked for endorsing Obama and doubled having Sarah Palin on. Yes, it time to go when you have no idea what the audience wants.
Joe Bidden has a lot of experience. Every time he opens his mouth he proves to be an experienced idiot.
My America ended with the carnival. When we became to politically correct for freak shows. We became to wimpy to defend our own freedom. We no longer have the ability to laugh at and ridicule people. Al Gore and global warming, we should be hooting and hollering, throwing rotten vegetables and dead cats. Pig tail light bulbs will save us from doom. How can anyone take these Luddites seriously?
Power lines, cell phones, Tupperware in the microwave, second hand asbestos will kill me but no laughs. My toaster has a warning label to not to use in the bathtub. My candy bar has instructions on how to unwrap it. Our government can't successfully circulate a one dollar coin. Yet these are the people telling us how to run our lives. And we are not laughing at them. They are idiots, boneheads. They couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel.
Our Congress is the freak show of our times. Nancy, Barney Franks, Reid, Dobbs should all have their portraits painted large on canvas and hung from a tent. "Gather close folks. Gaze on the subhumans who rule you. For a mere quarter, two bits, see the freaks pass laws. Come inside friend and see the very laws of our society bent and twisted. Listen to them distort the English language into nonsense. Not a dollar, not half-a-dollar for only one-fourth-of-a-dollar be dazzled by their Constitution illogic. Come one, come all, see the Congress that has played before the royalty of Europe. They will make your eyes roll and your skin crawl. If you only see one freak show this summer, this is the one to see. Thanks folks, buy your tickets from my glamorous assistant and meet me inside."
Saturday, November 14, 2009
If This Hell, I Must Be Dead
The best I can describe this world is Alice on the Dark Side of the Looking Glass. This world is full of bulging-eyed crazies and foaming loud mouths. The only intelligent discussion is at the Mad Hatter's Tea Party. Pack up your preconceived illusions and follow me.
As we approach the Mad Hatter's table, he is announcing, "The president is a genius." Those assembled at the table applaud. The March Hare stands up and declares, "The president is an idiot." The assembly applaud. The Door Mouse whispers to Alice, "they are all biased, you know."
Alice wrinkles her forehead in her cute, sexy manner and asks, "how is that possible when they've said he is both idiot and genius?"
The Door Mouse replies, "They didn't say he was idiot enough nor genius enough."
Alice, "I don't believe your statement makes sense." Door Mouse, "What time is it?"
The Mad Hatter is clacking his tea cup with a spoon to demand attention. "We can only spend our way to prosperity." The assembled applaud. The March Hare smashes his fist to the table, "Thrift and saving is the only path to a prosperous future." Again the assembly applauds.
The Door Mouse nudges Alice, "They are both wrong you know. My Teller says you have to spend money to make money and your have to have money to spend money."
Alice, "Where did the money come from in the first place?" Door Mouse, "What time is it?"
The March Hare hops on the table and shouts, "God gave us the right to Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness." The crowd stands and cheers.
The Mad Hatter doffs the hare from the table, "The basic Human Rights are food, shelter and medical treatment." The crowd continues to stand and cheer.
The Door Mouse staring at Alice's cleavage, "They're both right you know. The Teller tells us farmers are free to feed us, carpenters are free to build our houses and doctors are free to treat our wounds."
Alice crosses her long, silky legs, a bit of skirt slides up exposing a perfectly shaped thigh, "Who is this Teller?"
Door Mouse, "The Teller is knowledge. How can you know right or wrong, good or evil, justice or injustice if we are not told?"
Alice leans forward exposing a bit more bosom than necessary and asks, "And who tells the Teller?"
Door Mouse, "The Teller's Teller of course."
Alice's breasts swell and she sighs with the taste of honey and the scent of lilies, "And who is the first Teller?"
The Door Mouse explains, "The Tellers tell us there is no first Teller. They say ..." The Door Mouse is interrupted by an uproar from the tea party table.
The March Hare is pacing back and fore at his end of the table, "We are gathered here to render justice on these terrorists ..." Mad Hatter interrupting, "Freedom Fighters." March Hare continues, "PERSONS! Who have committed grievous crimes ..." Mad Hatter interrupting, "justifiable retaliation." March Hare turning a few shades into the red, "QUESTIONABLE ACTIONS! against the citizens of this great nation." Interrupting, Mad Hatter, "only the bad citizens and who is to say it is such a great nation?"
With all the grace of a bowling ball bouncing out of the gutter, the March Hare launches himself at the Mad Hatter. As entertaining as this midget match might be, the story continues with Alice. Alice, the sexy, the shapely, the ungodly curvy with the hips of a goddess, "Love the dress," Alice.
"Look Door Mouse, this hot android named Dorothy, I think she's bi, told me to find the red slippers."
"First, you must answer me these questions three."
"Door Mouse, do know what color your liver is? If you don't want to find out, you will tell me where to find the damn slippers so I can get the hell out of this shit hole."
Alice soon exits this realty to become a cartoon character named Angel.
It's Friday the 13th, it's been a really bad day and I've feed up with fucking liberals.
As we approach the Mad Hatter's table, he is announcing, "The president is a genius." Those assembled at the table applaud. The March Hare stands up and declares, "The president is an idiot." The assembly applaud. The Door Mouse whispers to Alice, "they are all biased, you know."
Alice wrinkles her forehead in her cute, sexy manner and asks, "how is that possible when they've said he is both idiot and genius?"
The Door Mouse replies, "They didn't say he was idiot enough nor genius enough."
Alice, "I don't believe your statement makes sense." Door Mouse, "What time is it?"
The Mad Hatter is clacking his tea cup with a spoon to demand attention. "We can only spend our way to prosperity." The assembled applaud. The March Hare smashes his fist to the table, "Thrift and saving is the only path to a prosperous future." Again the assembly applauds.
The Door Mouse nudges Alice, "They are both wrong you know. My Teller says you have to spend money to make money and your have to have money to spend money."
Alice, "Where did the money come from in the first place?" Door Mouse, "What time is it?"
The March Hare hops on the table and shouts, "God gave us the right to Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness." The crowd stands and cheers.
The Mad Hatter doffs the hare from the table, "The basic Human Rights are food, shelter and medical treatment." The crowd continues to stand and cheer.
The Door Mouse staring at Alice's cleavage, "They're both right you know. The Teller tells us farmers are free to feed us, carpenters are free to build our houses and doctors are free to treat our wounds."
Alice crosses her long, silky legs, a bit of skirt slides up exposing a perfectly shaped thigh, "Who is this Teller?"
Door Mouse, "The Teller is knowledge. How can you know right or wrong, good or evil, justice or injustice if we are not told?"
Alice leans forward exposing a bit more bosom than necessary and asks, "And who tells the Teller?"
Door Mouse, "The Teller's Teller of course."
Alice's breasts swell and she sighs with the taste of honey and the scent of lilies, "And who is the first Teller?"
The Door Mouse explains, "The Tellers tell us there is no first Teller. They say ..." The Door Mouse is interrupted by an uproar from the tea party table.
The March Hare is pacing back and fore at his end of the table, "We are gathered here to render justice on these terrorists ..." Mad Hatter interrupting, "Freedom Fighters." March Hare continues, "PERSONS! Who have committed grievous crimes ..." Mad Hatter interrupting, "justifiable retaliation." March Hare turning a few shades into the red, "QUESTIONABLE ACTIONS! against the citizens of this great nation." Interrupting, Mad Hatter, "only the bad citizens and who is to say it is such a great nation?"
With all the grace of a bowling ball bouncing out of the gutter, the March Hare launches himself at the Mad Hatter. As entertaining as this midget match might be, the story continues with Alice. Alice, the sexy, the shapely, the ungodly curvy with the hips of a goddess, "Love the dress," Alice.
"Look Door Mouse, this hot android named Dorothy, I think she's bi, told me to find the red slippers."
"First, you must answer me these questions three."
"Door Mouse, do know what color your liver is? If you don't want to find out, you will tell me where to find the damn slippers so I can get the hell out of this shit hole."
Alice soon exits this realty to become a cartoon character named Angel.
It's Friday the 13th, it's been a really bad day and I've feed up with fucking liberals.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Ponderlings
Ponderlings are those random thoughts that pop into our brains like cosmic partials from space.
Is it a violation of the pork prohibition for Muslims to get the swine flu?
We've had the bird flu scare and the swine flu scare. Next year are we getting the "when pigs fly" flu scare?
Supreme Court justices must have those special glasses for reading the Constitution like in that "National Treasure" movie.
The government health care bill is so big one of the amendments was to give it its own zip code.
The first phone call was, "Mr. Watson--come here--I want to see you." A typical imperialist, capitalist swine ordering around the working class.
You'd think an army doctor ending his memos with "Death to American" would have been a hint.
Maybe the Army should point out "be all you can be" wasn't meant to include terrorist.
In the TV series "V," the lizard people got into all kinds of security jobs years ago. Does that mean it's Bush's fault?
Some times I think about hacking into the company's phone conference system to replace the on-hold music with the drum solo from Iron Butterfly's "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida."
The world is should to end in 2012 because that's when the Mayan calender ends. According to the calender hanging on my wall, the world will end December 31, 2009.
Thanks to the movie "2012," we won't have to worry about global warming or Obama's second term.
"There are no radicals in the White House. They are progressives."
I hate taking polls. I always get the answers wrong.
Is it a violation of the pork prohibition for Muslims to get the swine flu?
We've had the bird flu scare and the swine flu scare. Next year are we getting the "when pigs fly" flu scare?
Supreme Court justices must have those special glasses for reading the Constitution like in that "National Treasure" movie.
The government health care bill is so big one of the amendments was to give it its own zip code.
The first phone call was, "Mr. Watson--come here--I want to see you." A typical imperialist, capitalist swine ordering around the working class.
You'd think an army doctor ending his memos with "Death to American" would have been a hint.
Maybe the Army should point out "be all you can be" wasn't meant to include terrorist.
In the TV series "V," the lizard people got into all kinds of security jobs years ago. Does that mean it's Bush's fault?
Some times I think about hacking into the company's phone conference system to replace the on-hold music with the drum solo from Iron Butterfly's "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida."
The world is should to end in 2012 because that's when the Mayan calender ends. According to the calender hanging on my wall, the world will end December 31, 2009.
Thanks to the movie "2012," we won't have to worry about global warming or Obama's second term.
"There are no radicals in the White House. They are progressives."
I hate taking polls. I always get the answers wrong.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
War's No Fun Anymore Wednesday
Armistice Day was created to memorialize the end of World War I, the war to end all wars, the Great War. That failing dream was completely shattered on December 7th, 1941, a day of infamy, a day when world wars would need to be numbered.
On those lonely nights, in far away places, I sometimes pondered the question of what is a great war? Was the Battle of Little Bighorn a "great war' for the Indian nations? Was the Hundred Years War a great war? Was Alexander conquering the known world a "great war?"
For the average ground pounder, the "Willie and Joe" of every war, there is no "great war." There is not a good war. At best, it is a necessary war. War is mud. And if it's not mud it's stinking sand. If it's not too hot, then it's too cold. I guess just right only happens in Goldilocks tales.
Some of you out there still remember Ike. He was both our general and president. Kind of like George Washington other than the golfing and wooden teeth. President Eisenhower turned Armistice Day into Veterans Day. Wars come and go but veterans are forever.
Let the pant load countdown continue,
Wilton Byrum
Attic of Long Ago and Far Away
P.S. Ironically, I have to use a personal holiday to take Veterans Day off.
P.P.S. I installed Windows 7 on a secondary machine. It doesn't suck yet but it's too early for a review.
On those lonely nights, in far away places, I sometimes pondered the question of what is a great war? Was the Battle of Little Bighorn a "great war' for the Indian nations? Was the Hundred Years War a great war? Was Alexander conquering the known world a "great war?"
For the average ground pounder, the "Willie and Joe" of every war, there is no "great war." There is not a good war. At best, it is a necessary war. War is mud. And if it's not mud it's stinking sand. If it's not too hot, then it's too cold. I guess just right only happens in Goldilocks tales.
Some of you out there still remember Ike. He was both our general and president. Kind of like George Washington other than the golfing and wooden teeth. President Eisenhower turned Armistice Day into Veterans Day. Wars come and go but veterans are forever.
Let the pant load countdown continue,
Wilton Byrum
Attic of Long Ago and Far Away
P.S. Ironically, I have to use a personal holiday to take Veterans Day off.
P.P.S. I installed Windows 7 on a secondary machine. It doesn't suck yet but it's too early for a review.
Monday, November 9, 2009
This Just In
The House of Evil has won. The spawn of hell march the streets of Washington holding up the severed heads of their political enemies.
House Democrats pass health-care bill
One Republican votes for plan Senate will act next on legislation.
But the bill attracted a surprise Republican convert: Rep. Anh "Joseph" Cao of Louisiana, who represents the Democratic-leaning district of New Orleans and had been the target of a last-minute White House lobbying campaign.
Every Shakespearean tragedy has its traitor. "Traitor" Joe Cao has become the Benedict Arnold of the Was for the Constitution. I hope "traitor" Joe sold his soul for enough to live comfortably in hell (or the Democratic Party) for his career as a Republican ends with the 2010 primary.
The assault on the Constitution now moves to the Black Hole of Egos. "Knife to the kidney" Reid hopes for a voice vote on a blank piece of paper and to fill in the details in conference. Snow of Maine already has her vote for sale on Ebay.
WRAPUP 3-US House Democrats scramble for healthcare votes
We are at war to determine if we will have a government 'of the people, by the people, for the people." Yet, the liberal media refuses to admit the people are on the battlefield. Thursday, 10's of thousands of citizens shows up in the steps of the Capital Building to say NO to their representatives. The liberal media ignored them to report the AMA and AARP leadership supports Obama-care as if their endorsements hadn't already been given weeks ago.
The battle is lost but the war grinds slowly on.
House Democrats pass health-care bill
One Republican votes for plan Senate will act next on legislation.
But the bill attracted a surprise Republican convert: Rep. Anh "Joseph" Cao of Louisiana, who represents the Democratic-leaning district of New Orleans and had been the target of a last-minute White House lobbying campaign.
Every Shakespearean tragedy has its traitor. "Traitor" Joe Cao has become the Benedict Arnold of the Was for the Constitution. I hope "traitor" Joe sold his soul for enough to live comfortably in hell (or the Democratic Party) for his career as a Republican ends with the 2010 primary.
The assault on the Constitution now moves to the Black Hole of Egos. "Knife to the kidney" Reid hopes for a voice vote on a blank piece of paper and to fill in the details in conference. Snow of Maine already has her vote for sale on Ebay.
WRAPUP 3-US House Democrats scramble for healthcare votes
We are at war to determine if we will have a government 'of the people, by the people, for the people." Yet, the liberal media refuses to admit the people are on the battlefield. Thursday, 10's of thousands of citizens shows up in the steps of the Capital Building to say NO to their representatives. The liberal media ignored them to report the AMA and AARP leadership supports Obama-care as if their endorsements hadn't already been given weeks ago.
The battle is lost but the war grinds slowly on.
House Of Evil: Wrath Of God
Washington Weather Service: Early morning frogs with scattered lice in the afternoon.
In the Market News, lamb's blood futures soar.Soul futures hit new low as politicians souls flood market. Satan Inc. up 10%. God stocks continue decline.
Capital Hill gossip has Democrats stocking up on lightning rods. Unconfirmed reports continue to come in of someone calling himself Mosses trying to get into the White House.
Our feudal barons have given us a health care plan that would be the envy of any medieval fiefdom. A brand new government program bought on the lay-a-way program. Four years of taxes, penalties and new regulation costs to create a new crop of victims for Medicare while the Holy Grail of Health Care lurks as a mirage on the horizon.
Cheer up we still have a "cap and trade" bill to save out vegetable-substitute bacon. Think of all the jobs a green economy will produce. Green the color of gangrene. Frostbite the consequence of a frozen and energy starved economy.
And Nancy has done this all in the name of Democracy that form of government from the wrong side of the tracks your Founding Father warned you against.
In the Market News, lamb's blood futures soar.Soul futures hit new low as politicians souls flood market. Satan Inc. up 10%. God stocks continue decline.
Capital Hill gossip has Democrats stocking up on lightning rods. Unconfirmed reports continue to come in of someone calling himself Mosses trying to get into the White House.
Our feudal barons have given us a health care plan that would be the envy of any medieval fiefdom. A brand new government program bought on the lay-a-way program. Four years of taxes, penalties and new regulation costs to create a new crop of victims for Medicare while the Holy Grail of Health Care lurks as a mirage on the horizon.
Cheer up we still have a "cap and trade" bill to save out vegetable-substitute bacon. Think of all the jobs a green economy will produce. Green the color of gangrene. Frostbite the consequence of a frozen and energy starved economy.
And Nancy has done this all in the name of Democracy that form of government from the wrong side of the tracks your Founding Father warned you against.
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