Is It Weird Enough For You?

Jesse "The Body" Ventura is the only person I know who continues to start new careers that are even more phony than TV wrestling. Like a lot of TV celebrities he moved into a movie career. It's hard to find anything phonier than Hollywood. But our boy Jesse has a knack for it.

Jesse entered the wild and woolly world of politics. It is hard to for anything to be more disconnected from reality than a government job. Look at Congress spending trillions of dollars and trying to explain it as just a few more zeroes, no big deal. Yet Jesse has returned to TV with a gig that is farther into left field than the stadium parking lot.

"Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura" is the new reality TV show of reality TV shows. Tonight's episode is "HAARP." HAARP is a super-secret government program for controlling the weather. It is only known to those who wear tin-foil hat decoders. This government program is the real cause of global warming. It was constructed at the same time all the global coolers changed mental institutions and became global warmers. If you saw the acres of radio antennas HAARP has, you'd know it could only be used to control the weather. Some people think it's a mind control experiment but they're just crazy.

Jesse's show next week is 9/11 (an inside job.) Obama's man in the White House, Van Jones, knew Bush caused 9/11. That is why the Republican's got him fired. Planes didn't crash into the Twin Towers. Those were holograms. The CIA packed the buildings with C4 and blew them up. It's wasn't a plane crashing into the Pentagon. It was a CIA truck bomb. The CIA ordered their own jet fighters to shoot down the plane in Pennsylvania.

See how simple conspiracies really are when a credible TV host explains them to you. Piltdown man was not a hoax. He is a climate scientist working at CRU. If you don't know what CRU is, a tip of the tin-foil hat to you You are a progressive who believes the government can spend us into prosperity and can provide us with national health care for free.