If This Hell, I Must Be Dead

The best I can describe this world is Alice on the Dark Side of the Looking Glass. This world is full of bulging-eyed crazies and foaming loud mouths. The only intelligent discussion is at the Mad Hatter's Tea Party. Pack up your preconceived illusions and follow me.

As we approach the Mad Hatter's table, he is announcing, "The president is a genius." Those assembled at the table applaud. The March Hare stands up and declares, "The president is an idiot." The assembly applaud. The Door Mouse whispers to Alice, "they are all biased, you know."

Alice wrinkles her forehead in her cute, sexy manner and asks, "how is that possible when they've said he is both idiot and genius?"

The Door Mouse replies, "They didn't say he was idiot enough nor genius enough."

Alice, "I don't believe your statement makes sense." Door Mouse, "What time is it?"

The Mad Hatter is clacking his tea cup with a spoon to demand attention. "We can only spend our way to prosperity." The assembled applaud. The March Hare smashes his fist to the table, "Thrift and saving is the only path to a prosperous future." Again the assembly applauds.

The Door Mouse nudges Alice, "They are both wrong you know. My Teller says you have to spend money to make money and your have to have money to spend money."

Alice, "Where did the money come from in the first place?" Door Mouse, "What time is it?"

The March Hare hops on the table and shouts, "God gave us the right to Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness." The crowd stands and cheers.

The Mad Hatter doffs the hare from the table, "The basic Human Rights are food, shelter and medical treatment." The crowd continues to stand and cheer.

The Door Mouse staring at Alice's cleavage, "They're both right you know. The Teller tells us farmers are free to feed us, carpenters are free to build our houses and doctors are free to treat our wounds."

Alice crosses her long, silky legs, a bit of skirt slides up exposing a perfectly shaped thigh, "Who is this Teller?"

Door Mouse, "The Teller is knowledge. How can you know right or wrong, good or evil, justice or injustice if we are not told?"

Alice leans forward exposing a bit more bosom than necessary and asks, "And who tells the Teller?"

Door Mouse, "The Teller's Teller of course."

Alice's breasts swell and she sighs with the taste of honey and the scent of lilies, "And who is the first Teller?"

The Door Mouse explains, "The Tellers tell us there is no first Teller. They say ..." The Door Mouse is interrupted by an uproar from the tea party table.

The March Hare is pacing back and fore at his end of the table, "We are gathered here to render justice on these terrorists ..." Mad Hatter interrupting, "Freedom Fighters." March Hare continues, "PERSONS! Who have committed grievous crimes ..." Mad Hatter interrupting, "justifiable retaliation." March Hare turning a few shades into the red, "QUESTIONABLE ACTIONS! against the citizens of this great nation." Interrupting, Mad Hatter, "only the bad citizens and who is to say it is such a great nation?"

With all the grace of a bowling ball bouncing out of the gutter, the March Hare launches himself at the Mad Hatter. As entertaining as this midget match might be, the story continues with Alice. Alice, the sexy, the shapely, the ungodly curvy with the hips of a goddess, "Love the dress," Alice.

"Look Door Mouse, this hot android named Dorothy, I think she's bi, told me to find the red slippers."

"First, you must answer me these questions three."

"Door Mouse, do know what color your liver is? If you don't want to find out, you will tell me where to find the damn slippers so I can get the hell out of this shit hole."

Alice soon exits this realty to become a cartoon character named Angel.

It's Friday the 13th, it's been a really bad day and I've feed up with fucking liberals.