State Of The Obamanation Speech

The State of Obama speech will have four topics, me, blame bush, you slackers and the enemy.

Obama will claim credit for his delusional successes. He saved the economy. He cut taxes for the middle class. He punished the evil bankers.

All obstacles and troubles are Bush's fault.

He will sternly explain we are not doing our share. Times will get worse before they get better but we have to keep faith in our savior.

Finally, he will speak ominously of the dark, shadowy enemy among us. An evil force that blocks his efforts for a better tomorrow.Blood suckers that want to deprive you of your right to health care, housing and a job. He may mention radio talk show hosts or FNC. Maybe the Tea Party movement or Republicans but he will mean us. Anyone that isn't part of his gang is the enemy. He will even have a shiny new name for the enemy but it still means us.

Handy translation table for the speech.
Middle class = unions.
Tax cuts = welfare checks.
Greedy business men = small business employers.
Fair share = tax increases.
Spending cuts = reducing the military.
Economic growth = increased government spending
Jobs created or saved = raises for government employees
Increased security = TSA strip searches.
adjustment = learning to live with inflation.
sound monetary system = China has accepted the West coast as collateral.
bipartisan = Casper the Ghost has registered as a Republican and supports me.

Highlights:
Bidden falls asleep.
Nancy jumps up so fast her wig pops off.
One of the Democrat females will faint.
One of the elder Republican statesmen will have a heart attack.
Code Pink, PETA and SCIU will throw dead fetuses at the Republicans.
If we are really, really lucky, Obama will unveil his new time credit scheme to replace domestic currency.
A TelePrompTer malfunction.
A terrorist attack. (A man can dream can't he?)
The weekly presidential speech will be replaced with guest hosting the Tonight Show.
Surprise guest sitting with the presidents family.

I'm taking even money Obama slips in at least one "Allah" or "Death to America" in his speech.

I'm still working on the numbers for a high-low bet on the number of left-wing and right-wing protesters showing up at the speech.